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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?